ANGLO-INDIAN
LIMERICKS
Title: Sensible
Nonsense Anglo-Indian Limericks-The
Original
Nonsense Verse of Warren Brown
Part I:
Limericks 1 to 10
This is the
first collection of ten Limericks prepared by
me. The purpose of the Limericks are purely for
entertainment and are not
meant to ridicule any person,
place or object. If
there are any resemblances to persons
past or present, or
to incidents and places, they are
purely coincidental.
This is my first collection of
nonsense verses and I
do hope that they do justice to
the Literary genre
of the Limerick.
1.There was an Anglo
called Joe
Who sang till
his throat was sore,
So he bit a
flaming match
And sent it
down the hatch,
Now his throat
is sore no more.
2.His mouth turned
gritty
whenever he composed a
ditty
for his Anglo girl
in Cal,
who his friends
called Sal
and said she was
far from pretty.
3. Calcutta is
covered with grime
which is a result of
the Clime,
so whenever Sam
starts to mope
he uses a bucket
of soap
to clean up the
slime.
4.There was Mike from
Angloland
who filled a
bucket with sand,
then he sent out a
tune
a little too
soon
now he has his own
brass band.
5.It was destiny
and Fate
the Anglos had
their own State,
the Chief Minister
carried a bag
and married an old
hag
now they rule from
the State gate.
6.Boy! Boy! roti lao
Chicken curry
and pulao,
Bring out the
silver spoon
From my Aunty
June
And let us put
down the chow.
7.Let us have a
talk
as I use the
spoon and fork
”I want to eat
some vindaloo
prawn curry and
tampradu,”
as we talk the
talk, while we walk the walk.
8.There was an Anglo
painter called Jude
who was so awfully
rude
but when he went
abroad
he found a happy
God
now he only paints
in the nude.
9. There was an
Anglo mechanic named Peter who
rode on an electric
heater but when he
immigrated to
Spain
he lived only on
sugarcane
and married a
cotton beater.
10. There was
an Anglo girl down the lane everyone
around called her
naughty Jane but, it wasn’t long
before the people ran
up the Church steeple as
she drove the
locality insane.
Title: Sensible
Nonsense Anglo-Indian
Limericks-The
Original Nonsense Verse of
Warren
Brown
Part II:
Limericks 11 to 20
This is the
second collection of ten Limericks prepared
by me. The purpose of the Limericks are purely for
entertainment and are not
meant to ridicule any person,
place or object. If
there are any resemblances to persons
past or present, or
to incidents and places, they are
purely coincidental.
This is my second collection of
nonsense verses and I
do hope that they do justice to
the literary genre
of the Limerick.
11.Just because he was so fat
he always sat on
a mat
he chewed betel
nut and “paan”
and sang a new
Anglo “gaan”
while he wore an
Aussie hat.
12. It was
amazing when he was born
in a field of
ripened Indian corn,
in no time he
committed a sin
so he escaped to
foreign
lands, where he
became a Don.
13.James was an Anglo born during the Raj
he lived beside
and behind the Taj,
all the visitors
would turn white
at the majesty of
his sight
and they would
call him Maharaj.
14. Roy was an
Anglo who married a Begum he chewed
“paan”, she chewed gum it wasn’t
long before a boy
was born, they
christened him John Donne and they
lived on parathas and rum.
15.Mark and his family lived under the
bridge
they didn’t have a
home or a fridge,
they received no
money or relief
so they died in
disbelief
when they were
gifted a fridge.
16.An Anglo family has an Ayah
who recently went
to Bodh Gaya,
she returned fully
Enlightened
and quite a bit
frightened
now she calls
herself Rani Maya.
17.Rudolf lived like a Nawab
on peas pulao and Kebab,
since his cook
prepared a paste
Rudolf
developed a taste,
Until the Nawab became the Kebab.
18.Anglo Charlie went to Puri
and lived on hot
dal-puri,
when he returned
from his trip
on a cargo laden
ship
he swam in tomato
puree.
19. Old man
Smith from Anglo-land
built his house upon
the sand,
whenever he would go to
shop
he would eat
potato “aloo” chop
as his house sank
into the sand.
20. Up the
aisle came the Anglo bride being taken
by her husband
for a ride, round and round
she chased the
groom with an old broken
coconut broom as the
bridesmaids stepped
aside.
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(Editor’s note: This is an extract from Warren Brown’s book ‘The Secret Race’ which is available on Amazon.com)
Warren Brown is a British Author of Anglo-Indian origin, who grew up in Calcutta and now lives in London. He studied at St. Xavier’s College, Calcutta and completed his Bachelor of Arts degree with Honours in English. He is married and works as an Administrator. Warren is interested in Life Coaching, Copywriting, Affiliate Marketing, Internet Marketing, Advertising, Blogging, freelance creative writing, book publishing and ecommerce. He also publishes an e-newsletter, “Positive World”, to make life more positive and enriching in the 21st century.
Emails: warrenpeace21@yahoo.com
Website:< http://www.publishsuccess.com/>
Blog: http://warrenbrown.blogspot.com/